Have you ever been hurt “for your own good”? Did that phrase confuse you, leaving you unsure whether what you experienced was love or abuse? Alice Miller names this confusion and exposes what she calls the pedagogy: a system that trains children to survive emotional neglect, control, or suppression by turning against their own feelings in order to remain attached. If you want to understand the roots of anger, shame, and emotional pain that have followed you into adulthood, this book is for you. Be prepared: this is not an easy read, it may take you into deep waters before you can breathe again, this time in air no longer tainted by shame.